Pearls

Recently I have seen three situations where one person was not appreciated and valued for what they had to offer and the opposing party was misusing them and abusing their talents and giftings. All three situations are very different and have happened around the same time. One situation involved me personally and one involved a family member while the third one happened to a friend of mine. I was praying about these situations and this verse came to mind.

"Don't give holy things to dogs, and don't throw your pearls in front of pigs. They will stomp on the pearls, then turn around and attack you." Matthew 7:6

I think that this verse is a brilliant analogy of how important it is to guard what you have. Let's stop for a moment and think about how a pearl is made. It starts with something as insignificant as a grain of sand. Sand is pretty common and not a very big deal to you or me, but it's a big deal to the oyster. However, instead of letting the sand, or other irritant, cause it harm, the oyster covers it with beauty and grace and makes a smooth pearl. Think back to all those things you've learned from something painful or inconvenient or embarrassing that you have covered in grace and beauty and taken in stride. You haven't let it cause an infection or gotten bitter over them; you made a pearl. Now let’s take a look at your growing string of pearls. I don't know about yours but mine is coloured. I also have some different shaped pearls and as my string continues to grow, each pearl that is added is in perfect harmony with the one before it and the chorus of colours.

Now, let's take all that hard work, all those lessons learned, all the beautiful pearls you have and throw them into a pig sty. Pig sties are filled with mud, left over rotting food, and let's not forget all the manure your pearls will get trampled into! And then the verse says that these nasty pigs, after having no regard for your beauty and hard work and worth, will turn on you and attack you. No, thank you. (I have never liked pigs, and I think this verse confirms my desire to stay away from them.)

After experiencing some “pearls before swine” situations, I had settled in my heart to move on and keep my pearls safe if what I had to offer wasn’t valued. Since then, watching similar things happen to those I love confirmed what I had already decided. It is easier to gain clarity as an outsider watching a situation. So if you feel as though you are not being valued and that your worth is being trampled into the mud and manure, perhaps you should step back and analyze what's going on. Maybe it’s time to get out of that situation before the pigs turn and attack you.

Compliments

(This picture doesn't really have anything to do with this blog post. I just really like pictures and a blog post without a picture is really kind of dry. So here is an unfiltered, unedited, unphotoshopped picture I took on my phone. I really like it and I thought you might as well.)

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." -Thumper

Yes, we've all heard it. We've heard it said on the Disney Classic Bambi, even our mothers have told us. But do we take the opportunity say something nice when there is something nice to say?

I believe in complimenting. I compliment frequently. As often as I can. But I believe a compliment should also be genuine. If someone has a haircut that I don't think is flattering at all I won't tell them I think it makes them look fab. But I'll pick something else I think that is lovely. Their necklace, their shirt, their smile. People hear far too many bad things in the daily grind. My one compliment in passing is hardly going to give someone a big head. And if it so happens that I complimented a person with an ego problem then that is their problem, not mine. I can't tell you how many times I've been at a cash register and just a short little compliment to the cashier changed her whole countenance and she started smiling and enjoying the moment we shared. It's kind of a life commandment now. I will always say what I'm thinking as long as it is nice. Sometimes, because I'm an observant person, I'll think "my that shade of green eye shadow doesn't do anything for that woman." That is where I will keep the thought to myself and then find something that is flattering and compliment her. It's amazing to watch people smile after they've been complimented.

Part of the reason I have developed this personal creed is due to a story my mother read to me when I was about the age of 12. She is a Guideposts addict. But sometimes it works in my favor. The story she read to me was about a boy who went to summer camp. On the way to camp he became annoyed with his mother as most teenage boys do. Moms aren't cool when you are a teenager. As I recall he said that he hadn't been very nice to his mother and as his parents were heading home they said goodbye. The writer said an off-hand goodbye but as his parents turned to go he decided he would give his parents a proper send off and gave his mother a hug and thanked her for bringing him to camp and walked her to the car. His mother was killed in a car accident while he was at camp and he was so thankful that his last words to his mother weren't those of a snotty teen but of a loving son.

I remember deciding at the age of 19 that I didn't want to live with any regrets. Since then that desire had guided the decisions I've made in life. I look at something and try to decide "will I regret doing this?" Or "will I regret not doing this?" I saw the sadness in the eyes of the elderly as they shared their regrets in life and didn't want to be one of them. That mindset along with the story has stayed with me and has formed my life to this day. One never knows when they bid someone adieu if that will be the last time they ever see their loved one alive. I don't want to regret my last words to my family and friends...and so I always try to make my parting words those of kindness and love. Have I failed at this attempt? Absolutely. I do feel however, that the instances that I've said goodbye in a less than cheery mood have been considerably diminished by my desire to live a regret free life and keeping a healthy respect for the end of life it's self.

And so I compliment. If the last person who sees me alive is the lady at the grocery story I want her to have heard something nice from me.

Holiday!

I recently took a three day holiday. I didn't realize that my last real getaway was in July. Far too long ago. I know most Americans only get two weeks paid vacation while our European counterparts get a lot more vacations/holidays. I don't know the stats off the top of my head but its a remarkable difference between those here in the states and those "across the pond." It seems like every time I turn around my foreign friends are going on another holiday while my domestic friends have one winter vacation and one summer vacation. My beloved European friends may not always be taking a week long excursion but hey I'd take four days away in Italy or Spain every couple months. We here in the good old USA work too much. Taking a few days away on a regular basis does so much good for the soul. Even now after being back at work in the daily grind I am still randomly smiling when I think about a couple weekends ago when I was on holiday, care free and enjoying the lack of schedule. It does so much for a person emotionally to change things up and take a couple days off. 

So I'm going to post some of the photos from our ski weekend away to inspire you to start planning your next sanity saving weekend. 

A picture speaks a thousand words so I'll let my pictures do most of the talking for this blog post.

We were so blessed. My sister and I met up with a friend of ours at Sugarbush and we had two absolutely beautiful days of skiing filled with sun, great bumps and even better company.

The Apre Ski was pretty great too!

My first Fro-Yo experience. I can't believe I been missing out on this wonderfulness all these years.

Start planning and get away soon!

Beauty vs Fashion

Today when I was listening to my favorite radio station, Air 1, the DJ was talking about an article that was in the Washington Post. It said that men in particular should be honest with their spouse or girlfriend and tell her when she doesn't look good. The DJ asked what our thoughts were on the topic. I thought for a moment. What I concluded was that we as people need to completely divide fashion and beauty and treat them as polar opposites.


Fashion is fun. It is a way to express our style and I think honesty is really important no matter who you are. We as women value the opinion of a close girl friend because we know that she will always shoot straight with us. I've had a friend tell me I shouldn't wear one of my favorite scarves because it makes me look washed-out. I am thankful for this opinion because now I know not to wear it if I'm trying to look my best. Since it's one of my favorites I still wear it but I pick the occasion. I have to admit my feelings were hurt a bit because it was my favorite and I loved wearing it all the time because of what it meant to me but in the end I got over the hurt and was thankful for the honest opinion.


However, I don't have to rely on just the female opinions in my family. My dad and brothers have no qualms about telling me they don't think I look my best. My dad always complains when I straighten my hair because he likes it wavy. (But frizzy and curly are pretty much the same thing to my dad so some times I have to put up with the complaints because there is no way I'm going out of the house with frizzy hair.)
 One time I asked my baby brother, who was 22 at the time, "do these pants make me look fat?" He didn't miss a beat and said "no the pants don't make you look fat your fat makes you look fat." Thankfully I was in a good place in those days regarding my self image and I laughed. My brothers are fairly fashionable rugged young men themselves so usually their opinion is valued. Sometimes when it comes to my brothers fashion opinion you have to take it with a grain of salt but I like that they don't say what they think I want to hear. And if they say "it's fine" I try not to read anything into it. To me fine means one step above ugly. To a guy "fine" may mean "it's all great." Try to get the people in your life to define what 'fine' means to them and then you can have an open conversation about how you feel when you've put 3 hours into looking nice and they say you look fine. Feelings are often hurt because you both have a different definition of the word.


Beauty is a completely different subject. My whole life I've heard my dad tell my mum how beautiful and gorgeous she is. I don't think a day has gone by in my lifetime when I didn't hear my dad tell my mum he thought she was amazing a beautiful. And it doesn't matter if she has her makeup and hot pants on or if she's in her barn clothes and has manure on her pants. He kisses her the same way no matter what she's wearing and says how blessed he is to get to share his life with such a beautiful woman. So that says to me that beauty is the thing that doesn't change. It's the thing inside that shows through the well quaffed hair and it shows through the weary sleep depraved raccoon eyes.


It has taken many a year for me to arrive at this conclusion but now that I'm here its well worth it. Beauty is the thing that makes people want to hang out with me when I just got off a night shift and forgot my makeup at home. It's the thing that invites someone to randomly send me a text just to say hello. It's the thing that stays the same and gives me value and worth whether I'm in my sweats or my party dress.